What Should I Know if I’m In a High-Conflict Divorce in California?

couple in kitchen arguing

For many, divorce is not how it is portrayed in the movies. Most people are able to end on civil, if not amicable, terms. However, this is not the case for all. Some may find that divorcing their spouse is a nightmare, filled with bitter and constant fighting. If this sounds like your circumstances, you’re likely enduring a high-conflict divorce. As such, knowing what you can do to reduce your stress surrounding the situation is crucial. Luckily, you can enlist the guidance of a Los Angeles divorce attorney to help you navigate this process. The following blog explores additional steps you can take to mitigate problems.

What Constitutes a High-Conflict Divorce?

Generally, a high-conflict divorce occurs when one or both spouses intentionally cause fights and issues with the other. This is often because one spouse has a high-conflict personality. Essentially, this means they have more trouble regulating their emotions and have a rigid way of thinking. As such, they can become frustrated easily and often assume they’re right and refuse to compromise.

If you find that your spouse is constantly trying to start fights, refuses to compromise or yield on issues, tries to undermine you to your children, or tries to take revenge for perceived wrongs, you are likely experiencing a high-conflict divorce.

What Can I Do to Reduce Conflict?

Going through a bitter divorce can cause significant stress on you and any children you have. As such, taking steps to reduce tensions is crucial to protecting yourself and your children.

Though it can be easy to vent about the actions and behaviors of your spouse, do your best to refrain from speaking poorly about your spouse in front of your children. Hearing negative statements about one parent from the other can cause guilt, frustration, and confusion. Your child may feel torn as they want a relationship with both parents but feel like they will betray you. Doing what you can to avoid inflammatory statements in front of your children is crucial.

If you and your spouse must communicate, you may find they take advantage of these opportunities to criticize and belittle you or start an unnecessary argument. While it can be difficult, do not engage in these conversations. You do not have to respond to nasty texts. If you must communicate with your spouse, keep conversations brief and neutral.

When Should I Enlist the Help of an Attorney?

If you decide to divorce your spouse because of their high-conflict personality, you may assume you can navigate this process on your own. However, as you’ll quickly discover, your spouse will likely refuse to compromise or cooperate with you. As such, it’s imperative to have an experienced divorce attorney on your side, as they will help fight for the best possible outcome when you are going through a divorce.

The Zitser Family Law Group, APC, understands the complexities and frustrations associated with high-conflict divorces. That’s why our team is dedicated to assisting you through these challenging times. Contact our firm today to learn how we will fight for you.

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